Hot Coffee
(This is one of those non-movie related, personal posts... feel free to ignore)
In case you don't know, Hot Coffee is a mod that came out about a month ago to unlock some sexual content that was hidden inside Rockstar's massively popular, and insanely good, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Politicians got a whiff of it, and the end result is that the game got re-rated (more than half a year after release) as an AO- adults only product. Comparatively, we could say that it was R, and now it's XXX/unrated.
The end result is that most major retailers are now hypocritically backing away in terror from a game that made them buttloads of money, and the company making is going to a) lose a lot of sales, and b) have their stocks go down.
I’m glossing over stuff here, but you can find all about it all over the web.
Now, we’re talking about a game where you can shoot off innocent people’s heads and watch the gouts of blood, become a pimp, beat someone to death with a dildo (and then cut into the corpse with a chainsaw), or do any sort of wacky mischief.
The sex? You meet a series of girls, who you date until the relationship gets to a certain point where they invite you over for coffee. Then you get to play a silly mini-game where you have sex in a in any of three fairly normal positions until, well, it ends. It bears mention that both characters are fully clothed during intercourse (there is a separate patch programmed by a third party that changes the skins of the 3D models so that they are nude, but this is indeed completely outside of Rockstar’s responsibility), and that the crude graphics of the game make the proceeds about as exciting as two lego dolls going at it. Does this really sound like something that should be shelved by the latest Japanese hentai raping sim?
Now, it would be easy for me to just go ahead and start insulting everyone involved (and this includes you, if you’re from the USA), but I’ll try to keep a clear head and reason through this. First off, I firmly believe that sex should be an acceptable tool in any storytelling endeavor. And I do consider that computer games can be as valid a narrative medium as, say, movies; I would take GTA over Bad Boys, anytime. The content in GTA was not in any way pornographic, and R rated movies have gotten away with far, far more. Oh, wait, that’s right, kids can’t watch R rated movies. Fuck off.
I can understand how parents would want to keep their children away from this game. That’s fine by me, and the game has a big fat M (for Mature- that is, not for kids) on the box that should let any parents worth the air the consume know that this is not intended for their precious little snotlings to play. There are problems with the ratings as they are, but they are mostly due to the fact that most of the gaming industry is spineless. So that’s cool, brand it however you want. But by giving it an undeserved AO rating, you’re sending a clear message out: put sex in your game, and your game will die an ignoble commercial death. Thank you very much, you’ve just stopped something I enjoy from evolving. Please, feel free to die painfully.
And Rockstar doesn’t deserve much sympathy either. The chickenshits almost soiled their pants when they were ridiculously accused of insulting Jamaicans (or was it Haitians?) in the previous GTA, and now not only did they cover up with duplicitous wording the fact that the sex content was their own (it was quite obvious, so it wouldn’t have taken much bravery to come up with an alternate strategy), but even worse, they’re talking about suing the makers of the devices that made the discovery of the locked out content possible. How could the same company that put out some of the boldest games in recent memory be so pathetic?
Anything constructive? Well, why, yes, I do have a plan, but it can’t hurt to write to your representatives making your disgust clear. I’m keeping an eye out to see how things evolve here in the UK, and plan to protest as much as I can if it’s necessary. But you know what we should really do? We should kill everyone under the age of 16. You know you want to, just stop pretending, douse the little fuckers in gasoline and light them up. After all, the only thing they’re good for (besides target practice) is giving excuses to the retrogrades in power to cut holes in culture. As a big bonus, it would mean the end of life on earth after we’re through. And believe me- the extinction of the human race sounds like an improvement when I read about shit like this... which is about every other day or so.
In case you don't know, Hot Coffee is a mod that came out about a month ago to unlock some sexual content that was hidden inside Rockstar's massively popular, and insanely good, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Politicians got a whiff of it, and the end result is that the game got re-rated (more than half a year after release) as an AO- adults only product. Comparatively, we could say that it was R, and now it's XXX/unrated.
The end result is that most major retailers are now hypocritically backing away in terror from a game that made them buttloads of money, and the company making is going to a) lose a lot of sales, and b) have their stocks go down.
I’m glossing over stuff here, but you can find all about it all over the web.
Now, we’re talking about a game where you can shoot off innocent people’s heads and watch the gouts of blood, become a pimp, beat someone to death with a dildo (and then cut into the corpse with a chainsaw), or do any sort of wacky mischief.
The sex? You meet a series of girls, who you date until the relationship gets to a certain point where they invite you over for coffee. Then you get to play a silly mini-game where you have sex in a in any of three fairly normal positions until, well, it ends. It bears mention that both characters are fully clothed during intercourse (there is a separate patch programmed by a third party that changes the skins of the 3D models so that they are nude, but this is indeed completely outside of Rockstar’s responsibility), and that the crude graphics of the game make the proceeds about as exciting as two lego dolls going at it. Does this really sound like something that should be shelved by the latest Japanese hentai raping sim?
Now, it would be easy for me to just go ahead and start insulting everyone involved (and this includes you, if you’re from the USA), but I’ll try to keep a clear head and reason through this. First off, I firmly believe that sex should be an acceptable tool in any storytelling endeavor. And I do consider that computer games can be as valid a narrative medium as, say, movies; I would take GTA over Bad Boys, anytime. The content in GTA was not in any way pornographic, and R rated movies have gotten away with far, far more. Oh, wait, that’s right, kids can’t watch R rated movies. Fuck off.
I can understand how parents would want to keep their children away from this game. That’s fine by me, and the game has a big fat M (for Mature- that is, not for kids) on the box that should let any parents worth the air the consume know that this is not intended for their precious little snotlings to play. There are problems with the ratings as they are, but they are mostly due to the fact that most of the gaming industry is spineless. So that’s cool, brand it however you want. But by giving it an undeserved AO rating, you’re sending a clear message out: put sex in your game, and your game will die an ignoble commercial death. Thank you very much, you’ve just stopped something I enjoy from evolving. Please, feel free to die painfully.
And Rockstar doesn’t deserve much sympathy either. The chickenshits almost soiled their pants when they were ridiculously accused of insulting Jamaicans (or was it Haitians?) in the previous GTA, and now not only did they cover up with duplicitous wording the fact that the sex content was their own (it was quite obvious, so it wouldn’t have taken much bravery to come up with an alternate strategy), but even worse, they’re talking about suing the makers of the devices that made the discovery of the locked out content possible. How could the same company that put out some of the boldest games in recent memory be so pathetic?
Anything constructive? Well, why, yes, I do have a plan, but it can’t hurt to write to your representatives making your disgust clear. I’m keeping an eye out to see how things evolve here in the UK, and plan to protest as much as I can if it’s necessary. But you know what we should really do? We should kill everyone under the age of 16. You know you want to, just stop pretending, douse the little fuckers in gasoline and light them up. After all, the only thing they’re good for (besides target practice) is giving excuses to the retrogrades in power to cut holes in culture. As a big bonus, it would mean the end of life on earth after we’re through. And believe me- the extinction of the human race sounds like an improvement when I read about shit like this... which is about every other day or so.
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