Apocalypsis: France: The Movie: The First part
This is dedicated to those that say critics never do anything worthwhile. Not that I'm a critic, or this is worthwhile... Thanks to Alejo and Dr. Vaporeso
Tom Clancy, eat your heart out- anyone know Jerry Brukenheimer's phone number?
Based on a true story- http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2005/11/7/94742/9727
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2005; 17:32pm
A large French city, possibly Rejkavik.
French police, led by charles Bronson, kill all of the rioting masses in the suburbs in a surprise attack.
17:35pm
Public outcry is far greater than anticipated. The harried government (played by Jean Reno) is forced to guillotine all the policemen in the country.
17:49pm
French society falls into chaos. The army is finally called in to restore the peace, and promptly surrenders.
Sheer bedlam ensues. Mimes run the streets unchecked, free from their invisible boxes; red wine runs on the streets. The world watches horrified as mobs of accordionists torture innocent bystanders with soulful renditions of la vie en rose.
18 Brumaire CCXIV - teatime
After carefully deliberating with God, The Holy Spirit, and Steve Jobs, President Bush (played by Ben Affleck) invades France. Despite international allegations that the US is only after France';s subterranean pate de foie reserves, they quickly win over the French people's hearts. Cue a slow motion scene with all of the United States' army,the President and the Holy Ghost walking side by side on the French streets while heroic music swells in the background. Just like in Armageddon, or Boa vs. Python.
OhEightHunnerd Hours pm
Tragedy! The young son of President Bush and Jesus, who is widely thought to be a sure thing for the second coming, is treacherously stoned to death with old chees by a dastardly mob. He dies in both of his father's arms.
OhNineHunnerd Hours pm
The army retreats from france. I forgive them, says Jesus. I don't, says bush. And nukes France into the stratosphere.
18:32am
The Canadian are enraged. Sacre Bleu! They scream. They mobilize their secret unstoppable nuclear weapons program- multiple nuclear warheads on the backs of the royal Canadian mounted police. With their high mobility and nigh-undetectable red camouflage, they can avoid detection and launch nuclear attacks on all major centers of civilization.
18:33am
Humanity dies horribly after a lot of suffering while Rush plays in the background (Tom Sawyer). What can I say, I'm a sucker for happy endings.
Tom Clancy, eat your heart out- anyone know Jerry Brukenheimer's phone number?
Based on a true story- http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2005/11/7/94742/9727
---
2005; 17:32pm
A large French city, possibly Rejkavik.
French police, led by charles Bronson, kill all of the rioting masses in the suburbs in a surprise attack.
17:35pm
Public outcry is far greater than anticipated. The harried government (played by Jean Reno) is forced to guillotine all the policemen in the country.
17:49pm
French society falls into chaos. The army is finally called in to restore the peace, and promptly surrenders.
Sheer bedlam ensues. Mimes run the streets unchecked, free from their invisible boxes; red wine runs on the streets. The world watches horrified as mobs of accordionists torture innocent bystanders with soulful renditions of la vie en rose.
18 Brumaire CCXIV - teatime
After carefully deliberating with God, The Holy Spirit, and Steve Jobs, President Bush (played by Ben Affleck) invades France. Despite international allegations that the US is only after France';s subterranean pate de foie reserves, they quickly win over the French people's hearts. Cue a slow motion scene with all of the United States' army,the President and the Holy Ghost walking side by side on the French streets while heroic music swells in the background. Just like in Armageddon, or Boa vs. Python.
OhEightHunnerd Hours pm
Tragedy! The young son of President Bush and Jesus, who is widely thought to be a sure thing for the second coming, is treacherously stoned to death with old chees by a dastardly mob. He dies in both of his father's arms.
OhNineHunnerd Hours pm
The army retreats from france. I forgive them, says Jesus. I don't, says bush. And nukes France into the stratosphere.
18:32am
The Canadian are enraged. Sacre Bleu! They scream. They mobilize their secret unstoppable nuclear weapons program- multiple nuclear warheads on the backs of the royal Canadian mounted police. With their high mobility and nigh-undetectable red camouflage, they can avoid detection and launch nuclear attacks on all major centers of civilization.
18:33am
Humanity dies horribly after a lot of suffering while Rush plays in the background (Tom Sawyer). What can I say, I'm a sucker for happy endings.
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