Now here’s a surprise. This is a movie I was extremely reluctant to see (and if I had seen director Stephen Chow’s previous effort, Shao Lin Soccer, I would have avoided at all costs). Five minutes into it, I was completely lost to the world. Seriously, that’s all the time this movie needs either to have you utterly enthralled, or walking out of the theater in disgust. Much like Sin City, it goes so boldly over the top, that it’s kind of awe-inspiring… and polarizing.
Kung Fu Hustle refuses to take itself seriously and to conform to any expectations at every turn. It goes from out and out slapstick to mock serious melodrama, to the blackest humor to some of the silliest use of CGI since the new Star War flicks (some parts of the movie pay elaborate- and quite literal- homage to old Warner Brothers cartoons). Not only is it fun as hell, but you can tell that everyone involved was having one hell of a lot of fun doing it. Indeed, the movie brims with an infectious energy that’s utterly disarming. You know you’re watching some really stupid shit, but it’s so charming and so excellently crafted that, well, you can’t help but to have fun with it.
The story is surprisingly coherent for a martial arts flick, and revolves around the escalating conflict between the brutal Axe Gang and a run-down tenement that just happens to be the retirement place for a bunch of martial arts grandmasters. The fights are expertly staged (and far more exciting than similar scenes in the joyless Matrix sequels), the direction is top-notch with some truly excellent camerawork, and the script is solid enough and often hilarious. And since the film proves several times that just about anything is valid as far as it’s concerned, you never know quite what to expect, making it all the more enjoyable.
The only thing I could criticize about the movie is that it gets a bit too solemn towards the end once Buddhism enters the picture… but since that same scene involves someone stepping on an eagle’s head and a giant palm-shaped hole punched clear through an entire building, I may be taking it far more seriously than the filmmakers. The end itself is also a treat, utterly charming and (gasp!) moving, somehow avoiding both saccharine sweetness and the formulaic requirement that heroic characters do not get the girl.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Friday, July 15, 2005
The Descent
Well, it was a matter of time. Batboy has finally got a movie, and he's brought his friends along. Helmed by director Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers), The Descent tells the story of an all-female group of friends that run into some problems (of the cannibal kind) during a spelunking expedition.
The characters are realized well enough, even if there's no real depth to them; kudos to the casting director, though, for not including any real bombshell in the group- it must take balls to make a choice like that, but it works wonders in making the movie more immediate. The effects are a mixed bag; Marshall does wonders with a limited budget, but the limitations show through early and often- from a swarm of bats that looks to be hand drawn, to an extremely shoddy cave-in, and more. That being said, the batboys are very well realized and effective, and the gore is both abundant and extremely satisfying.
A sense of dread is successfully maintained through most of the film, particularly in the beginning: a crash scene is handled extremely well, and a few of the cave-exploring parts are fairly harrowing. Paradoxically, once the monsters appear and make their intention clear of butchering and eating the girls, the tension pretty much disappears; it becomes just a matter of who bites it, and how.
The main culprit of that, as always, is the script: one of the most important things survival horror needs, is a sense of fairness, of internal consistency, and unfortunately, there is none to be had here. Someone’s throat might be pierced from side to side and still live hours just to mumble an important plot point, then a minor character might be killed just by popping one of his eyeballs. The monsters might be inhumanly fast and nimble, but they patiently wait until the heroines run away. In my opinion, when script manipulations like these become readily apparent, any tension quickly dissipates- immersion replaced with a vague interest to see how it all plays out. Some attention is given to how the relationships in the group are affected by the ordeal, but as the characters are fairly underwritten, not much is made out of it either.
The descent, then, is worth watching, but quickly forgettable. A lot more could have been made of it, either by giving its characters more depth, giving more thought to the second half, or giving it a sense of humor. Mean spiritedness and buckets of blood carry it a long way, but in the end, it’s just a smart-ish slasher movie… disappointing, given the obvious talent driving it.
The characters are realized well enough, even if there's no real depth to them; kudos to the casting director, though, for not including any real bombshell in the group- it must take balls to make a choice like that, but it works wonders in making the movie more immediate. The effects are a mixed bag; Marshall does wonders with a limited budget, but the limitations show through early and often- from a swarm of bats that looks to be hand drawn, to an extremely shoddy cave-in, and more. That being said, the batboys are very well realized and effective, and the gore is both abundant and extremely satisfying.
A sense of dread is successfully maintained through most of the film, particularly in the beginning: a crash scene is handled extremely well, and a few of the cave-exploring parts are fairly harrowing. Paradoxically, once the monsters appear and make their intention clear of butchering and eating the girls, the tension pretty much disappears; it becomes just a matter of who bites it, and how.
The main culprit of that, as always, is the script: one of the most important things survival horror needs, is a sense of fairness, of internal consistency, and unfortunately, there is none to be had here. Someone’s throat might be pierced from side to side and still live hours just to mumble an important plot point, then a minor character might be killed just by popping one of his eyeballs. The monsters might be inhumanly fast and nimble, but they patiently wait until the heroines run away. In my opinion, when script manipulations like these become readily apparent, any tension quickly dissipates- immersion replaced with a vague interest to see how it all plays out. Some attention is given to how the relationships in the group are affected by the ordeal, but as the characters are fairly underwritten, not much is made out of it either.
The descent, then, is worth watching, but quickly forgettable. A lot more could have been made of it, either by giving its characters more depth, giving more thought to the second half, or giving it a sense of humor. Mean spiritedness and buckets of blood carry it a long way, but in the end, it’s just a smart-ish slasher movie… disappointing, given the obvious talent driving it.
Friday, July 08, 2005
War of the Worlds
Make no mistake about it. Spielberg has just taken a huge, steaming, putrid, diarrheic dump on us all again. I'm not going to dwell on the fact that I paid to see it. Or the fact that I was surprised at how, well, shitty it is, given his recent (ahem) output. And -this bugs me the most- the fact that I actually consider a few scenes in the movie (adding up to less than 5% of the total runtime) almost worth the price of admission.
Mr Spielberg has a long history of appealing to the lowest common denominator. A populist in the worst sense of the word, there is nothing this guy won't do to make people like his flicks; Problem is, as time goes on, his "look! I'm making Movie Magic!" seems more and more forced, more calculating. It was bad enough when, say, it dragged down what would have been one of the very few true science fiction movies in recent memory, but when it gets in the way of shit blowing up on a straight action/suspense sci-fi flick, well, it's somehow even more depressing.
Tom Cruise is horribly miscast as an ordinary Joe, a crappy father and an all-around asshole who must save his estranged sons and, of course, gain back their affection and respect. Problem is, he's a horribly bi-dimensional prick, and holds no interest whatsoever. Even if he wasn't obviously unfit for the role and so horribly underwritten, the contrivances the script forces the family through do more to separate their struggle from any semblance of reality than the freaking 30 meter-high aliens. We're talking seriously stupid shit here, and that's even before the plot holes kick in.
People get killed left and right (except for Tom and his family, because, well, Spielberg is not about to shake the formula), and it soon becomes clear that the only possible course is survival. So they set out for Boston, to drop off the kids at the divorced mother's house. By the end the US army (with the help of Tom and the germs) is able to kick the Alien's asses.
There's no scene too lame, no image too trite for Spielberg in his quest for Movie Magic! When the alien walker pod gets licked, you can bet a limp alien hand is going to hang dramatically from an opening just so someone can prod it. You can count on the precocious moppet to spout wisdom when dramatically appropiate (when the script isn't making her act like Yoda, she's actually pretty convincing- especially when she freaks out). The son, who sacrifices himself heroically (and meaninglessly, and stupidly) in a thermonuclear pyrotechnics display, obviously survives and makes it to the manipulative, tear-jerking finale. Not only does the director insult your intelligence, he also fucks its mother and then leaves dimes on the table. And what about plausibility? Turns out that in a mob of a few hundred people (in the frigging US of A), there are only two guns! What the fuck? All the cars go dead at the same time, and Tom boy in full hero mode, points out exactly how to fix it to a professional mechanic after thinking about it for exactly two seconds. He is then able to drive a car through highways filled with stopped vehicles- before getting EMPd, it seems, they decided to leave a path open just in case the lead actors decided to head that way... fuck this shit. There's barely a scene that does not seem artificial, stupid, ill conceived, or manipulative. Most are all of the above.
So, in spite of the above, I'm still ambivalent about having wasted my money on it. Janusz Kaminski's cinematography is beautiful, as always. And while I would probably kick Spielberg in the teeth if I had the chance, I have to recognize that as a visual storyteller, he's a master. The way he moves the camera makes it easy to ignore the awful shit that's transpiring, even when said camera movements are completely extraneous. When things get rolling... well, frustratingly enough, there are only three full 'action' sequences in the whole movie, but they are nearly worth the price of admission, along with some surrealistic scenes along the way. If you can do without seeing this kind of thing on the big screen, all the more power to you; I wish I could, it would probably save me from an early ulcer. Everything between the SFX scenes is an absolute waste of time (my advice? leave the cinema after the ferry sinks).
One more thing. It might be the disgust this movie generated while I was watching, but- the first alien attacks are beyond a doubt heavily based on the footage from 9/11 (Spielberg, in his quest to manipulate, must still be jerking off in self-congratulation on that one). So it made my hackles rise when the aliens don't just die by themselves, like in the source material, but are brought down by bazooka shots from brave US army soldiers (but only after our hero points out they can be shot- did I mention this movie stinks?). I wouldn't put it past this dirty fucker to manipulate USA's xenophobia in order to make more people respond. To think I idolized this guy when I was a kid...
Mr Spielberg has a long history of appealing to the lowest common denominator. A populist in the worst sense of the word, there is nothing this guy won't do to make people like his flicks; Problem is, as time goes on, his "look! I'm making Movie Magic!" seems more and more forced, more calculating. It was bad enough when, say, it dragged down what would have been one of the very few true science fiction movies in recent memory, but when it gets in the way of shit blowing up on a straight action/suspense sci-fi flick, well, it's somehow even more depressing.
Tom Cruise is horribly miscast as an ordinary Joe, a crappy father and an all-around asshole who must save his estranged sons and, of course, gain back their affection and respect. Problem is, he's a horribly bi-dimensional prick, and holds no interest whatsoever. Even if he wasn't obviously unfit for the role and so horribly underwritten, the contrivances the script forces the family through do more to separate their struggle from any semblance of reality than the freaking 30 meter-high aliens. We're talking seriously stupid shit here, and that's even before the plot holes kick in.
People get killed left and right (except for Tom and his family, because, well, Spielberg is not about to shake the formula), and it soon becomes clear that the only possible course is survival. So they set out for Boston, to drop off the kids at the divorced mother's house. By the end the US army (with the help of Tom and the germs) is able to kick the Alien's asses.
There's no scene too lame, no image too trite for Spielberg in his quest for Movie Magic! When the alien walker pod gets licked, you can bet a limp alien hand is going to hang dramatically from an opening just so someone can prod it. You can count on the precocious moppet to spout wisdom when dramatically appropiate (when the script isn't making her act like Yoda, she's actually pretty convincing- especially when she freaks out). The son, who sacrifices himself heroically (and meaninglessly, and stupidly) in a thermonuclear pyrotechnics display, obviously survives and makes it to the manipulative, tear-jerking finale. Not only does the director insult your intelligence, he also fucks its mother and then leaves dimes on the table. And what about plausibility? Turns out that in a mob of a few hundred people (in the frigging US of A), there are only two guns! What the fuck? All the cars go dead at the same time, and Tom boy in full hero mode, points out exactly how to fix it to a professional mechanic after thinking about it for exactly two seconds. He is then able to drive a car through highways filled with stopped vehicles- before getting EMPd, it seems, they decided to leave a path open just in case the lead actors decided to head that way... fuck this shit. There's barely a scene that does not seem artificial, stupid, ill conceived, or manipulative. Most are all of the above.
So, in spite of the above, I'm still ambivalent about having wasted my money on it. Janusz Kaminski's cinematography is beautiful, as always. And while I would probably kick Spielberg in the teeth if I had the chance, I have to recognize that as a visual storyteller, he's a master. The way he moves the camera makes it easy to ignore the awful shit that's transpiring, even when said camera movements are completely extraneous. When things get rolling... well, frustratingly enough, there are only three full 'action' sequences in the whole movie, but they are nearly worth the price of admission, along with some surrealistic scenes along the way. If you can do without seeing this kind of thing on the big screen, all the more power to you; I wish I could, it would probably save me from an early ulcer. Everything between the SFX scenes is an absolute waste of time (my advice? leave the cinema after the ferry sinks).
One more thing. It might be the disgust this movie generated while I was watching, but- the first alien attacks are beyond a doubt heavily based on the footage from 9/11 (Spielberg, in his quest to manipulate, must still be jerking off in self-congratulation on that one). So it made my hackles rise when the aliens don't just die by themselves, like in the source material, but are brought down by bazooka shots from brave US army soldiers (but only after our hero points out they can be shot- did I mention this movie stinks?). I wouldn't put it past this dirty fucker to manipulate USA's xenophobia in order to make more people respond. To think I idolized this guy when I was a kid...
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