Dr. Terror's House of Horrors

 Amicus Productions is most famous for doing a run of horror anthology films in the sixties and seventies, and Dr. Terror's House of Horrors is probably the best known of them. It's a fun collection of cheesy, punchy horror stories that are told with humor but (mostly) no overt jokes. I have a lot of affection for it, having seen it a few times, usually in fragments, over the years, and it holds up pretty well all things considered.

 Five travellers sharing a train carriage are joined by a sixth passenger - And it's Peter Cushing! So you know things are going to get macabre. Well, that and that the title of the movie, and that it's an Amicus film.
 Cushing plays Dr Schreck (which as one of the other characters helpfully points out, means Terror in German) with his usual melancholy, wit and gravitas - he's great, as always.
 When his bag tips over and the contents are scattered on the floor, a pack of tarot cards comes tumbling out. Questioned about it, he explains that every human being has two fates - one mundane and one supernatural, and that the cards reveal people's supernatural final fate.

To be fair, that is one cheap-ass-looking pack of tarot cards.

 You know the deal; each one of the passengers on the train gets a reading, which then turns into a separate horror short. and the whole thing ends with a shock to cap off the framing device. It's well constructed and actually answers some of the questions you assume are just going to be left dangling, so good on scriptwriter Milton Subotski, an Amicus regular.

 The story themselves vary in quality.

 The first one is fun, and the creepiest one of the bunch. An architect is called back to his ancestral home by the enigmatic widow who now owns the house to make some modifications. There he discovers that an ancestral curse is real and a werewolf starts attacking from the shadows. If you don't figure out who the villain is as soon as the menace is laid out, you haven't watched enough of these type of films.

 Next comes a goofy science fiction tale of... a killer ivy plant. It's played completely straight while still having a houseplant turning ominously towards the camera with the appropriate musical sting, or first a leafy shadow and then the vine itself approaching an unsuspecting victim shot like you would shoot an approaching gloved hand holding a knife.
 What makes it extra special is that the victim goes out to get some scientists to help out, and they provide some scientific-sounding exposition with absolute seriousness - the tone reminds me of... I guess rival studio Hammer's Quatermass films, but not nearly as good.

 The third movie is the story of a Jazz musician who while on the West Indies spies on a Voodoo ritual and decides to steal Damballa's sacred music to use in his compositions. It's got one of the best (and most overtly comedic) gags in the movie and three musical numbers.
 It's also pretty safe to say this was very cheesy even at the time it was released. It obviously hasn't aged very well, being pretty exploitative and all, but I don't think many would take offense at it anyhow: the white protagonist is an absolute dick throughout and clearly deserves his comeuppance. The problem is that when it finally comes it's ridiculously underwhelming. Easily my least favorite out of these.

 But that's all right, because next we finally get to Christopher Lee's fate. He plays the caricature of a smug, snobbish art critic with maximum relish (here and in the framing device) and it's a blast to see him having so much fun with the character.
 After thoroughly insulting an artist played by Michael Gough (British horror icon, Tim Burton regular, but best known in this house as Dr Flammond), the artist turns back the tables on the critic with a prank that exposes him as a sham.
 The artist is a less than gracious victor, and his constant barbs drive the critic to murder. But after death the artist's hand comes back from the grave, slowly clawing its way towards the critic. There's some great effects work here with a mechanical severed hand that can actually crawl, in addition to the creative framing that you'd expect so they can use a real hand.
 This is an excellent segment - just the acting alone, both from Lee and Gough, would make it great, but it's also a cool, fun (if derivative) little story that actually has themes and some depth. Great stuff.

 The last story features a very young Donald Sutherland as half of a newlywed couple who starts suspecting that his bride may be a vampire. It's a very plain, plodding tale that ends with a fun twist, but honestly even at fifteen minutes it drags a bit.

 And then the movie is done, after a final catchup with the six train passengers. The twist (because of course there's a twist!) is predictable, but it actually makes more sense than these things usually do, and is effectively creepy.

 So there you go. The main attraction here is the actors and the stories themselves. Anthology movies are famously uneven, but, and especially with ones like these that have a lot of stories and a short running time, they rarely overstay their welcome.
 The effects, with a couple of exceptions aren't great, and the cinematography, save again for a couple of neat shots (there's a rotating shot in the first story that I liked) doesn't really call attention to itself. It's... fine. As is usual for this timeframe, no gore - just bright red splatters of blood, used very sparingly.

 It's not even remotely scary, but that was never its intention. It's a fun horror movie. Now I need to re-watch The House that Dripped Blood.