Carry-On

 The Carry On films have a long, storied trajectory here in the UK - a series of slightly racy, slapstick, pun-filled farces, each one themed around a loose concept: Carry on Camping, Carry on Matron, even a Carry on Screaming (a Hammer films spoof.)

 I guess after more than sixty years it was time for a change, but a gritty, American-based reboot that dispenses almost entirely with the jokes and double entendres seems a bit extreme.

 The good news is that despite being a terrible Carry On film, Carry-On is a pretty fun action thriller in the Phone Booth mold. Set almost entirely, like Die Hard 2, in an airport on Christmas day, it follows the adventures of TSA officer Ethan Kopek (Taron Egerton) in what turns out to be an unexpectedly fraught work day.

 Ethan's an easy going guy who gets a bit of an existential crisis at the news that his partner (Sofia Carson) is pregnant. Trying to jolt himself out of a long-standing rut*, he asks, and is allowed, to man one of the carry-on luggage scanning stations.

 The problem: there was a sophisticated terrorist operation that depended on coercing the guy whose post he just replaced to allow something to be smuggled through security. So the terrorists scrabble to find information on poor Ethan (they have one of those magical hackers who can dig anything up on anyone almost immediately, and has full access to all the airport's systems - one wonders why he can't just hack the scanning equipment and get it done with). Soon Ethan is forced to wear a wireless earbud and is in direct communication with the very charismatic terrorist mastermind (Jason Bateman) - to ensure his cooperation, his girlfriend (who works in the same airport) is being targeted by a sniper.

 Thus begins a game of one-upmanship between the scrappy Ethan and the seemingly omniscient terrorists. It gets more than a little silly at times, but the script (by T.J. Fixman, who was previously responsible for scripting the Ratchet & Clank games from the PS3 onwards) ratchets (pun not intended) the tension and moves at a rapid enough pace that has you all but skipping over the plot holes.
 As the film advances a detective (Danielle Deadwyler) gets involved in the investigation and things get even more ridiculous as multiple pairings of heroes and terrorists chase each other all over the facilities.

 At almost exactly two hours, the film overstays its welcome, and suspension of disbelief gets more than a little bit strained; The terrorists veer wildly between being impossibly competent and making stupid decisions, as required by the script (pro-tip: if you're an expert gunman and sniper, a van is probably the worst tool of assassination you've got at your disposal).

 People just won't call the cops on our criminals, but at least that results in an annoying comic relief character getting stabbed. And it's not like law enforcement is balked at - a single LAPD detective is able to quickly halt operations in an airport's busiest day with the slightest of proof, and at some point I just stopped counting how many times Ethan would have been shot - or at least detained - by the police or airport security while running around all over the place like a deranged lunatic.

 None of this really matters all that much. Director Jaume Collet-Serra's a pro at this sort of thing by now, having made the similar Liam Neeson vehicles Non-Stop, Unknown and The Commuter. This one's a bit lighter in tone, but his direction remains quietly assured, expertly conveying Ethan's process as he tries to figure out where his opponent is calling from, or going loud in a stunning shootout during a massive highway pile-up.

 This is the sort of movie people (wrongly) insist doesn't get made any more**: a slick, propulsive, cleverly constructed thriller that takes its time to get to the explosion at the fireworks factory. Well acted, shot and scripted, to boot. It's not a classic - it drags a little too much, its plot twists are a little too baroque and implausible. But for a one-time holiday viewing, it's pretty great.

 A warning about the film's politics: the film is clearly in the pocket of Big Airport, what with its depiction of empathetic, dedicated employees, or of the airport itself as anything but an obstacle course where joy and hope go to die. Do better, Netflix/Dreamworks. 

Full points for featuring a Toy Story 2-inspired action scene, though.

*: See, if this was a proper Carry On film, I'd be saying something like 'Ooh, matron!' at about this time.

**: For proof, read the first line of the previous paragraph again.