The 13th Floor

 I should probably clarify that this is the Australian 1988 movie The 13th Floor and not the unrelated, big-budget American movie about simulated realities that came out eleven years later. This one features just this single review on its Rotten Tomatoes page:

 "I hate this movie. Because the movie has bad quality. And I really don't like the quality."

And there you go, you can stop reading now. How could I possibly compete with that?

 At first it looks like it's going to be a decently fun slice of low-budget very late eighties cheese.
 Young Kylie, seven years old, watches her father (Tony Blackett) murder a man and his young son in cold blood on a construction site. Thirteen years later, a grown-up Kylie (Lisa Hensley) is on the run from her dad with some incriminating documents and goes to squat on that same thirteenth floor where the prologue took place, which we learn is unoccupied because of constant electrical problems. Did I mention that kid at the beginning was killed by electrocution?
 You probably can see where this is going. And you're probably right, in the broad strokes. But how things end up getting there... well, that'd be a lot harder to predict - mostly because writer/director Chris Roache doesn't seem to have the slightest idea of how to construct a basic storyline.

 Kylie doesn't really seem to have a plan to do anything. Despite being some type of anti-establishment type, and bringing her anti-establishment friends to squat with her (Miranda Otto and Paul Hunt), they're just there... to squat. Oh, and she's an utterly unlikeable jerk.
 Her father sends a private detective to track Kylie down - an enjoyably sleazy foil for our protagonist - but the guy finds her and is defeated by the electric ghost of the boy from the prologue not even a third of the way in.

 From there on, the story just seems to give up. It's a random assortment of lousy comedy, romance and suspense that barely hangs together, all the way to the end when the film decides it's time to finish things off with a fun but underwhelming lightshow that could just as well have happened within the first twenty minutes after the prologue. As that anonymous Rotten Tomatoes reviewer stated, the movie has bad quality.

 It does, however have a couple things going for it. Not a lot, mind you. The 80's style lightning effects are fun, as are a couple of makeup effects. Everything is pretty tame, as I'm pretty sure this was a TV movie (there's a 'tasteful' and thoroughly unsexy sex scene, and frequent cuts to black in random places.) There are a couple so bad it's good moments, but not enough to make it enjoyable, plus the sort of unwitting, dumbass little details that make me laugh - like a dude pulling out a Commodore Amiga manual to hack a password on a PC. Screw the Transformers or Star Wars, the Amiga is my nostalgic sweet spot.
 What is often, unambiguosly good is the cinematography (DP: Stephen Prime). Not just in the sense that even movies like this paid more attention to it back when they had to shoot on film - it genuinely has some lovely-looking shots:

 The... ahem, improvisational qualities of the script also maintain a certain morbid interest in where the hell the film is going to head next. Not that it goes anywhere interesting, but at least it's kind of unpredictable.

 Other than that, this is a near-complete misfire; I can safely say I really don't like the quality either. This would be director Chris Roache's first and last job as a director, which is a shame because he seems to have a good eye. Since then he's been a pretty prolific writer for Aussie TV shows - hopefully he's gotten better at that.