Dawn of the Dead (remake) (review)

 Night of the Living Dead at least had a lame excuse for getting a remake. The original was in B&W. So, ostensibly, the new version was to take the classic out of it's 'cult' status, and offer it to the unwashed masses.
 No such luck with the new Dawn of the Dead, unless you consider cashing in on 28 Days Later's renewed zombie interest a valid reason for a remake.  Like action, horror as a genre lends itself well to loud, dumb and fun movies. Perfectly acceptable. Too bad this one just settles for mostly damn bland.
 Generic blonde woman flees from her newly zombified significant other only to find everyone else has joined the ranks of the hungry dead. She soon hooks up with a no-nonsense security guard, a straight likeable potential love interest, a dumb teen, a gangsta and some other lovable misfits, and hole up together in an abandoned mall. All sorts of crazy, undead, manflesh-eating anticts ensue.
 The actors are, surprisingly, quite good. They do what little they can with the scripts they've been handed. The movie itself is very polished, in that particular way that makes hacks look trendy; expect generic flashy MTV-style editing (which, incidentally, downplays the gore, making this version much more teen-friendly than the original... take that, Mr Romero!), and that frame skipping effect that Spielberg unfortunately popularized on Saving Private Ryan.
 Some clever moments aside, the flick keeps promising payoffs that rarely amount to anything. Such a damn shame, too, because when things get rolling they get quite thrilling- for a little while, at least: an early scene with a truck rear ending into a parking space (and several zombies shambling in the way)  is a perfect example.

 All in all, it feels as if the director had a couple of scenes he really wanted to do, and just handwaved the rest of the story together. Rather artlessly.
 If (and I include myself here) an overhead shot of a propane tank exploding over a crowd justifies watching a mediocre something that can more adequately be called a product than a movie, then this is definitely for you. Otherwise stay away.