Burnt Offerings

 The name Dan Curtis rang a bell, but it wasn't until I looked him up that I realized he's the creator of Dark Shadows. Burnt Offerings is one of the handful of horror movies he directed, and one of the few that wasn't made for TV. It... still kind of looks like a TV movie.

 Based on a novel by Robert Marasco, adapted by regular collaborator William F. Nolan (no relation), this is a very seventies horror movie that's got some cool ideas but unfortunately doesn't really justify itself until the very last couple of scenes. It does, however, have a truly unhinged performance by Oliver Reed, whose acting notes must have consisted of 'more apoplectic!' over and over again.

Not pictured: a whole lot of blubbering.

 Reed plays Ben Rolf, who moves to a palatial manor in the middle of nowhere for the summer with his family - his wife, Marian (Karen Black), his aunt (Bette Davis) and his young son David (Lee Montgomery. They rent the place from a couple of elderly loonies (Eileen Heckart and Burgess Meredith!) who seem like sweethearts but ask inappropriate questions and do that thing where they're kind of creepy even when they're all smiles. They set two conditions for the Rolfs: they need to take care of the house, and they need to take care of their mother, who'll keep to her room at the attic.

 The house is a little run down, but other than that their vacation is idyllic. Once there Marian takes to her new home maybe a little too much, though. And Ben gets possessed by something and tries to roughhouse his son to death (in a hilariously drawn-out scene). The house seems to be draining dear auntie of her lifeforce, too, and also tries to murder little David several times... you know what? Maybe I got the definition for idyllic wrong - what I meant to say is that their vacation fucking sucks. That place would never get rented out in these days of online reviews, even at $900 for a season.
 As the house terrorizes the Rolfs, it starts rejuvenating - getting new wallpapers, retiling the pool, etc. You know the residents notice because Marion explains that it's happening out loud once - but they take it weirdly into stride otherwise. At least until Ben sees the house shedding its old shingling like a snake sheds its skin (a cool scene), which results in him finally trying to run away and getting waylaid by the shrubbery (another cool, but cheesy scene). It all leads up to a very strong ending, of the sort that kind that almost puts the preceding hour and something under a better light.

 Nope - not here. I wouldn't describe it as miserable, but the experience of watching the movie wasn't that great either. The filmmaking is kind of uninspired, with very broad, sometimes soap-opera-like acting, dramatic zooms and a cheap-looking soft-focus effect to convey a dreamy atmosphere. Worse still, the pacing is completely off: a lot of the events aren't that interesting, and while there is some escalation, the atmosphere of dread it's clearly trying to build up doesn't ever really come to be. Changing wallpapers and other home renovations are not particularly scary.
 It's often unintentionally funny, especially Ben's recurrent 'horrific' hallucinations where he's haunted by the guy who drove the hearse at his mothers funeral. Oh no! the guy smiles at him! Jeez, Ben, maybe he was trying to be nice. You asshole. Reed is one of those actors where I can see why people liked him, and he was charismatic when he wanted to, but... well, not here. His panic attacks do make the movie much more entertaining, but maybe not in the way it was intended.